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i always wrote a song
when i felt sad,
i always wrote a poem
when i felt bad.

i thought then,
it would be okay,
but after all,
it never went away.

the melancholy,
it paralyzes me,
the anxiety,
it won't let me be...

further more questions,
and more unknown,
no use of suggestions,
more sadness shown...

the feeling stays,
i want to get rid of,
sarcastic ways,
i need to shut off...

would you be my knight?
or be my savior..
from this cold night,
from this strange behavior...

i feel lost,
and even more, depressed.
would you like a toast?
i think i'll be dead.. T.T

- - -

wooo..
tula nananaman..
nakakaadik..
nagi2ng emo na nga rin tlga kuh..
kmuzta un dba..
ang daming words na nagaappear sa utak
ko na gustong ma-ipublish...in public.
wee...

may kulang ='(

anxiety XD

sad though..hihi^^
but it's the way i feel right now..
i posted this in my fwenster cuz i knew nobody wud see it here...
nobody goes here >_<


ah..
here..
--- i Like bein in the dark & the rain,
so no one will see me cryin..
i try my best to ease the pain,
but i always see myself dyin.

i need affection,
i don't need perfection,
i need attention
i really hate this emotion...

everyone thinks i'm happy
but i never really was,
i had always been empty.
i don't have what everybody has..

i am weak but i give out strength,
i smile all the time yet it's a trick
-when i show them a joy of no length,

i try to never whine...
i cry when no one sees me,
and i really feel cold i am dyin though nobody knows,
i have the sorrowful story ever told...

i wish every feelin inside would just end,
for me to feel at ease.
that way, i won't have to pretend,
and then the pain would cease...


--- see, i told you it's sad.

i'm feelin anxiety for...nvm

Nothing...

It's 4am in the morning.
and you're totally blank,
I don't see what you're thinking,
it's as if you've totally sank...

Lost in thought of your own,
like you never understood,
hear the feelings that you've known,
that would be something for good...

Now you feel so awkward,
you don't know what to do,
moving backward,
somehow, wishing you'll make it through.

life is a wonder,
life is surreal,
something to ponder,
to know. to feel.

~~~

hiyaahhh...
i woke up, 2am,
i couldn't sleep anymore
for some i wonder what reason,,,
no, honestly, even if i have slept, it wasn't
really like sleeping cuz i kept waking up every
40 mins or an hour.

I got offline too early last night,
I wasn't in the mood to surf the net cuz
I didn't know what to do..

I was to bored,
I'm afraid I'm starting to get bored more
everyday...

hah..
but I'm trying my very best not to, and to keep
the cheery side of me.

It's good anyway that I woke up,
I got to say goodbye to my mum and dud before they left..

I hardly could eat, i can't taste anything other than
milk and cereal, and water - - - what's keepin me alive right now.

heheh...

I hope something magical happens (it's what i always wish, don't bug me)

okay,

til here...